I am very fortunate to have the opportunity to spend time with some amazing gentleman. Sometimes you experience an encounter that really resonates with you and leaves a lasting impression. This story is about a client that helped me realize a different perspective on love.
First, I’d like to note that the title of this entry “Him #1” is not indicative of him being my number one client or by any means any better or preferred than any other of my friends. It is just the beginning of a numbering sequence that is the first of possibly more stories. Now back to the love story.
He’d contacted me by email. The correspondence was well written, and I could tell he’d taken the time to read the information on my website. However, it was his first time contacting an escort. Sometimes this makes me nervous. Without any references, how do I know if he’s familiar with the protocol? Will he say something he shouldn’t? Will he ask questions that give the implication that something illegal will happen? Will it be safe to meet him? Is this a setup? Will he be nice? Will he be a jerk? Will he be clean? Will he be drunk or under the influence of drugs? These are all questions that sometimes run through my mind when a new gentleman reaches out. There are so many unknowns. Screening doesn’t answer most of those questions and even someone who successfully passes screening can still be a jerk. Anyway, he did provide employment information and a picture of his ID which gave me a little comfort.
His correspondence indicated that he’d be in town for a short visit and was interested in a dinner date with outcall to his hotel. A dinner date would be nice. I love having the opportunity to talk and get to know someone over a good meal. It allows for the experience to unfold much more organically like a real date. He’d mentioned he’d read my reviews and was very impressed by them. When I hear that, it always makes me nervous. For me, it’s added pressure due to the expectations that some have based on what they may have read in a review. The pressure to worry about being rated, judged, and ranked on extremely subjective criteria can wreak havoc on your psyche. Each and every encounter is different. I tend to go with the flow, so it’s impossible to replicate exactly what someone may have read somewhere. It always ends up being unnecessary worry though. Things usually go just fine.
He was very considerate in choosing a restaurant that specialized in one of my favorite types of cuisine, seafood. Now, what to wear? Casual? Dressy? I should wear something sexy, but not too sexy. I want to stand out, but not too much. I want to get his attention, but not the attention of everybody in the restaurant. I decide on a simple yet flattering black dress. You can never go wrong with a little black dress and some nice heels. Next is the tricky part. I arrive at the restaurant ready to meet someone who I have no idea what he looks like and he hasn’t seen my face so doesn’t really know what I look like. I sent him a text and let him know I was coming in. Fortunately, he’d found a table that was visible near the entrance and he had his eye out for me. He came and greeted me and walked me to the table.
He was a bit nervous at first, however, as the conversation flowed, he seemed to be a little more at ease. I had previous work experience in the industry he currently worked in. After some discussion of the politics of corporate America and our experiences in the industry, the comfort level increased. We enjoyed a little more conversation about other likes and interests over a wonderful dinner, and of course dessert! Then it was off to enjoy the real dessert!
After dinner, we went to his hotel room, which conveniently was close to the restaurant. We undressed, him down to his boxers, and me to my matching bra and panty sets. It was one of my favorite sets that I chose to wear just for this occasion because it made me feel sexy. Nice lingerie tends to have that effect. Simply putting it on puts me in a sensual mood. We began kissing and touching and he was exploring my body and admiring me in the lingerie. It was all very gentle, yet passionate. Everything was going well, and I could tell he was really enjoying the experience, and so was I.
Then I reached for his boxers to attempt to remove them and he stopped me. What happened? Did I do something wrong? Is this a setup? Did I get it wrong and he isn’t that into me? Confusion creeped into my mind. This isn’t how these things are supposed to go. He told me he had enough and he was done. Uh oh…what is the problem? What did I do?
He said, “Now I get it.” I’m so confused, get what? He went on to explain that he and his wife were having problems and he had caught her cheating twice. He didn’t understand how she could say she loved him, yet still desire someone else. This experience helped him understand. He enjoyed my company. He had a wonderful time at dinner. He found me very attractive and desirable. He enjoyed kissing me and the whole experience exceeded his expectations. Yet, it did not diminish the love he had for his wife. He didn’t have a desire to continue because he did want to remain faithful to his wife, yet he did achieve fulfillment of what he was seeking through our encounter, even though at first, he wasn’t entirely sure what that was.
I knew I’d never see him again, but that experience has always stayed with me. I had never given much thought to the type of dilemma he was facing prior to this experience. Now, through this and other experiences, I get it too. You can certainly love someone, and still enjoy the company of others without that love diminishing. Society in general encourages monogamy. I have no qualms about monogamy and there is nothing wrong with it if that’s what you choose and feel most comfortable with. I’ve just also learned that non-monogamy isn’t wrong either, and for some people works well and is what they feel most comfortable with. I’ll save the debate for another blog post.
Love is infinite. There is more than enough to go around. It’s like when you have your first child and you have an infinite amount of unconditional love for that child. You simply can’t imagine having room for anyone else to love because you love that child so much. Then you have second child or more, and what you realize is that your love keeps expanding and there is more to give. You can love that second child just as much as you love the first one. So too with relationships. You can love more than one person. People come in and out of our lives for reasons and seasons. Some stay longer than others. Every reason and every season has it’s place and special significance in our life. Some present lessons to be learned and others present the opportunity for love and compassion to be shared.